2009 was perhaps one of the most stressful years of my life. Between doctoral school, working up to 3 part-time jobs, and trying to be an effective parent to a son who is exhibiting more and more signs of attachment/bi-polar disorders, I think it's safe to say that all I want from 2010 (besides some sleep) are answers.
The last quarter of 2009 was probably the worse in my life next to losing my mom in 2005. My son's rages have exploded to the point to where I sent him to his grandpa's house for a week and half, despite the school year being in full swing and then culminating with me having to call the police to the house because he was angry that I banned him from his Xbox360 permanently due to poor grades.
Christmas break allowed me time to do a lot of research on Reactive Attachment Disorder along with ADHD (which he has been diagnosed with) and Bi-Polar Disorder. Ever since James came home, I have felt fortunate that he was able to attach and fit into our newly formed family with ease. But what has been consistent over the years have been cyclical rages that could last from 2-8 hours, hyperactivity, anxiety, and more. What I concluded was that I could not sit back and see this wonderful kid drift away from me because something from his past or in his brain, or both is causing him grief.
Just this week I had a phone consultation with a child psychologist who conducted a RADQ survey to see if we can come up with a preliminary diagnosis of sorts, then I was also finally put in touch with a psychologist locally who has seemed to work with all three disorders (we had our first session tonight and based on what I have told her, she's leaning toward bi-polar disorder). But what I am most excited about is the opportunity to take part in a parenting class online that is specifically designed for parenting kids with difficult issues.
This week was the first session and I think it will be beneficial. If you are interested, you should check it out: http://beyondconsequences.com or http://parentingonlineclasses.com/blog or http://Facebook.com/DareToLoveTour
The session was mainly on stress (to which I am no stranger) but it reminded me about the importance of taking care of myself so I can be more available to my son. This evening, while sharing with the psychologist, I found myself practicing the suggested deep breathing more than I thought. The weight on me these past months have been enormous and I just now feel like I am able to exhale. For the first time in a long time, I feel like there may be some hope for my son. I am looking forward to working towards a healthier relationship with my son so he can feel safe, secure, and confident in his own skin.
Wish me luck...
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